Taxing day on first tax day of the year!
Wednesday 6 April 2005
Tim calls me on the phone, "Can you do a trip tomorrow with Lyn Hanson of 'Cranford Good Neighbours' starting around 09:30?"No sweat, I've taken Lyn's group out many times before. [See 'Let Loose' elsewhere on this website] as I said there, Lyn is every steerer's dream--she is away with the windlass as soon as a lock is sighted, her faithful lieutenant, Pat, only a pace or two behind. Food & drink are in copious supply & a hot meal is always served during the day!
The day dawned cold, windy & raining. Most unusual for a 'Lyn' trip--she always is fantastically lucky with the weather. The wind was blowing so strongly that I elected to go north to the 'stink 'ole' & wind the boat there for the southward journey to just beyond Denham Deep. As is customary, I backed into the 'stink 'ole' to allow the front of Spirit to be drawn downstream on the weak current on this River Colne-fed stretch of canal. Today, however, the wind god Aeolus decided that a mere Colne current was but a trifle & blew me back facing northwards! Several goes later I managed to get Spirit's nose on the far bank & powered round to finally head south. While I was wrestling with Aeolus, Tim had set Coppermill Lock in my favour & had returned to H.N.A's bank to watch us go through. As I approached the lock an Aeolian blast of truly god-like proportions removed my captain's cap & deposited it in the water some 15 feet behind me. Now, dear reader, you will have seen this cap as you clicked on 'Barry's Jottings.' I wasn't about to give it up easily. Apart from sentimental value it was [normally] a snug fit & [usually] proof against any gusty conditions. There was the added bonus of protection for my delicate head. Tim realised all this as he launched a rescue mission, powering 'Star' up to glide [or so he thought] out to the middle of the waterway to scoop up the errant headgear. Lyn had seen my cap fly off & asked me if I wanted to back up & retrieve it but I elected to get her & her group on Spirit safely in the lock & where she could start the locking down. Collecting the boat hook & stern line from Spirit's roof I walked back up the towpath to where Tim had been tracking my cap. "It's heading for the weirstream" was his correct assumption, and, realising this was the case, prepared to cross the lock when a shout from Lyn that the boat was stuck brought me running back to the lock calling for her to shut the paddles. This she & Pat did,then, by opening the top paddles once more, Spirit floated free of the cill. The wind had been strong enough to blow Spirit to the back of the lock & allow the stern to become stranded on the cill as the water level dropped."This is getting ridiculous," I thought. Tim called out from Star, "Is the boat O.K?" I checked with one of Lyn's party on the stern, he moved the tiller from side to side--fine. Unlike Tim, who was now blown broadside across the canal, he indicated where the cap was [just crossing the weir boom] & with a last desperate effort I slung the stern line out over the water--thankfully it landed over the submerged cap & by delicately retrieving same, managed to bring the cap into boat-hook range. A ragged cheer went up from Tim, Lyn & several of her party as Lyn, at Tim's suggestion plonked the dripping sodden item back on my head! As I stood up I realised I'd knelt in the biggest pile of duck-muck ever & my knees were a wonderful shade of white,grey & yellow!Later in the morning, I said to Lyn's party that nothing had gone wrong for an hour or two & I was getting quite bored!The afternoon enabled everything to dry out as we had some glorious sunshine--a better finish to the day than the start. Everyone on board had had a wonderful time & it was hard to picture the disastrous start of several hours earlier.This morning [7 April] whilst showering I realised that my delicate bonce was sunburnt 'coz I didn't wear a cap---as Homer Simpson would have said-----d'ohhhhh!!!
Barry Holland