Brentford Basin Blues
A crack team of four
H.N.A. staff had assembled at H.Q. in order to deliver Pisces and Spirit
to the inaugural Brentford Basin Festival, all building work there having
been completed. British Waterways naturally wanted to show off their
latest baby and a festival was considered to be the best way to
publicise it. Pisces and Spirit were to be the boats that were giving
'free boat trips' to the attendees. So, Laurie Clark-assisted by Oliver,
would take Spirit, whilst Chloe Short and yours truly would take Pisces
down to the basin--about a day's cruise. 09:45 saw us entering Coppermill
Lock, Chloe wrestling with the fast flow on the water owing to the recent
rains. Laurie ably assisted Chloe and Pisces into the lock by bringing
Spirit forward alongside Pisces thus bringing Pisces stern away from
the weir stream and safely inside the lock's top gates.
Similarly, when the
weirstream outflow below the lock , just before Coppermill Road
bridge, is in full flow, it's necessary to 'keep left' as--as soon as
the 'fresh' is reached, otherwise boats tend to end up hard on the
starboard bank. This safely negotiated, a steady run commenced
downstream. Chloe kept our spirits up with tea and coffee, even more
essential as the Toll House Tea Rooms were shut for their annual holiday.
Tim
had phoned me en route to say that he would deliver Ian Maclachlan to the
boats shortly and we waited in the lock at Cowley for him to arrive. Ian
duly despatched, the mini convoy started south once more, Tim departing
for HQ and promising to meet us at the foot of the Hanwell Flight later in
the day. On the flight, I went on ahead, lockwheeling with Chloe following
behind, Laurie, Oliver and Ian, steering the boats. Ian's knee was still painful after
a fall he'd had on a slippery floor a couple of days previously [aahh!!]
so he wisely, some would say cleverly [ooh! bitchy!!] stayed on board to
rest it. Around 16:30 we said goodbye to Chloe, Laurie and Oliver, who
were going to have a jar with Tim, who had just reappeared, at
"The Fox." This left Ian and myself on the boats with two
more locks to do before gliding into the basin at around 17:15.
How different it all looked now, blocks of luxury flats, a Holiday Inn, a
banqueting complex and a purpose-built block containing boaters'
facilities on the ground floor. Still breasted up from our trip down
the flight we winded perfectly just before the gauging lock and came into
the reserved space just by the water point! Naturally, there was no-one to
see this happen, as is always the case when things go according to plan.
Had we made a cock-up, you can rest assured that someone would
have seen it! Tim appeared
again, having returned the others back home and ready as we were to eat,
drink and be merry, for tomorrow we work!
The "Magpie and
Crown" in Brentford High Street is only five minutes walk away [see:-Two
Fat Englishmen's Towpath Foray Eastward, last paragraph, Saturday 15
April, elsewhere] and we were soon into those wonderful,
evocatively-named beers that are part of the 'Magpie' experience.
Slipdancer, Codgington's Codger, Buffy's Mild and Cottage Box Tunnel are
just some of the names that come to mind. Being real ales, often from
micro breweries therefore only one barrel may be on offer, the bill of
fare is changed often throughout the course of an evening! Ales, along
with their specific gravities are written up on a blackboard by the pub
entrance. As the barrels are drained by enthusiastic topers, so the
blackboard is erased in favour of the next exotic brew. As the beer takes
effect, it's easy to not notice, or even to read a new name suddenly writ
large! Around the witching hour of midnight, replete with ale and
some wonderful Thai food, we made our way back to the boats, hoping, fools
that we were, that the weather would be kinder than last week at the
Batchworth Festival [ see Dank, Dark, Deluged Days elsewhere]
Saturday 27
May 2006
I had elected to sleep
in Pisces' boatman's cabin, a very cosy spot. Unfortunately, a bit too
cosy for me at 5ft.8½ins, unlike the shorter men of 100 years ago. It
required me to adopt a foetal position that wasn't akin to my normal
'sprawl' Also, to visit the loo, needed a brief foray along the gunnel
outside and into the passenger cabin section of the boat. I determined
then to sleep tonight on one the normal length bunks in there. 06:10
was the time, far too early to rise but, after a swift return to bed and a
failed attempt to return to the arms of Morpheus, I resolved to ablute my
way into Saturday. All too soon the clock advanced to the stage
where sounds of hammering and tent-erecting indicated that 'showtime' was
not too far off. Ian prepared a magnificent breakfast that set us up for
the day.
Elaine Stanley, BW's education officer, an old friend of HNA, was soon
giving us the lowdown on the ticketing system to be employed today.
Trips were free but a refundable £1 deposit was necessary to obtain a
ticket, we as Passenger Service Managers [!!] were to clip the tickets and,
upon return to BW's office, the £1 would be returned. This convoluted
arrangement was to prevent people booking a trip for later in the day then
not showing up at the appointed time thus preventing an empty boat from
taking on passengers that were there because that particular trip
was fully-booked!
The trips started in
cloudy but dry conditions, then soon unfortunately degenerated into
"Batchworth" weather, so my plea of last week, in the last few
lines of my report had obviously gone unheard [see Dank, Dark,
Deluged Days elsewhere]
Tim, accompanied by
Jenny Thorne who had arrived by 10:30, set off on Spirit bang on 11:00,
Ian and myself on Pisces soon afterwards, latterly joined by Sam.
The trips were spaced
out at 20 minute intervals as far as the public were concerned, each
boat's trip lasting for 40 minutes, and Spirit and Pisces alternating
departures from the waterpoint. The system worked very well, one boat
leaving for the winding point just below Clitheroes Lock followed 20
minutes later by the other, meant that we were constantly passing one
another all day, from 11:00 to 17:00. Every trip was full to capacity and
we could see our next customers lined up and ready each time we returned
to the basin. The fact that the boats winded right in the basin ensured
there was maximum interest for the duration. Each time we came back to the
basin it seemed that another attraction had been added to the already
impressive list. We saw limbo dancers with bars of fire to limbo under,
kangaroos bounding around the site, expert fishing instruction being given
to ingénues in the miniature Fellows, Morton and Clayton Dock, a Bactrian camel
was wandering around complete with two hilarious riders that would have
been more at home in a Noel Cowardesque drawing room--combine those two
with some of the funky music emanating from the main performance area for
a truly surreal effect! Cooking from an open-sided tent hard by the water
run-off into the weir stream was producing mouth-watering aromas that were
hard to cope with, but, in typical British stiff-upper-lip style, we
carried on 'til the end of the day, fortified only by a hastily snatched
cuppa or can of Coke.
The last trip of all
was over by 17:20 and relief that we could at last perhaps dry out, was
tinged with regret that the Festival had finished--despite all the rain,
it had been fun! I'm sure that BW will discuss the day in great depth and
I wouldn't be surprised if an annual event will now take place--probably
over two days rather than the one. Several photographers had taken
our pictures and no doubt a few shots of us and other aspects of the
Festival will feature in The Hounslow Gazette for BW to consider.
That great film of
1969, "Woodstock" showed the winding down of the festival with
Jimi Hendrix playing to a dwindling crowd as the hordes made their way
home. It was the same thing for us, each time we got back to the basin,
another stall had been dismantled, the stallholders thankful that their
soaking was over. Unbelievably, the instant that the
mighty engine on Pisces was stilled, the rain ceased! Walking to the
"Magpie and Crown" some ten minutes later, the sun came out!!
On the tickets, the
patrons had an option of leaving their £1 with BW if they'd enjoyed
themselves and the money would be donated to HNA. We had unconfirmed
reports that £211 had thus been raised for HNA. Considering that
between the two boats, we'd made a total of 18 trips, 18x12=216--this
means that, somewhere out there, are 5 tightwads who wanted their cake and
ate it! 
Gratefully we flopped
down damply in the pub and investigated the ever-changing beer menu once
again, followed by another excellent Thai meal. Back on the boats Ian and
I retired around 22:00 to sleep for England [Little Men {I wish!} you've
had a busy day!]
Just before my
sleeping bag and myself got intimate with one another, I had to endure the
unstinting praise from Jeff, who was from ' Pepper ' a 45 footer that had
unknowingly found himself in the middle of a festival he knew nothing
about, but when he found out, decided to stay for the duration. Talk about
front row seats--he had a grandstand view all day long.
He told me that he and
his wife were full of admiration for the way that our trips had run
like clockwork all day, irrespective of the incessant rain. Also
our winding in what they considered to be a confined space in the basin showed
considerable skill! I'm surprised that my head fitted through the hatch!
Unexpected, and unsought praise is always very welcome, it makes
it all worthwhile.
Sunday 28 May
2006
With the new facility
block just yards from my bed, it would be silly to pass up the chance to
indulge in its luxuries. The BWB key opened up this Aladdin's Cave of
delights and, armed with my washbag and towel used the loo [big enough to
hold an AGM in] and the shower room [similarly sized, with an excellent,
hot, powerful wall-mounted shower ] but I decided that the use of the washing
machines could wait for another time. Ian had showered in Spirit's
loo/shower room by the time I emerged onto the towpath once more and by
07:30 we were on the move. We stayed breasted up throughout the ten locks
that brought us onto the Bull's Bridge pound at Norwood, sharing the
lockwheeling duties, and emerging onto the level by 11:00. I then remained
at the tiller whilst Ian exercised his culinary skills in Spirit's
galley. He breakfasted himself then prepared mine and took over on
the tiller whilst I downed some delicious egg, bacon, tomatoes and
mushrooms. The inner man thus replete we separated the boats and made our
way to Cowley in reasonable sunny weather, with high cloud occasionally
obscuring the sun--but infinitely better than yesterday's constant
drizzle!
With the odd cup of
tea and swig of Coke, Coppermill was reached by 17:10, the boats breasted
up once more for the final 100 yards over to HNA headquarters. Ian
had an appointment in Winchester and wasted no time in departing. Ten
minutes later, having unloaded my few things into my car, I too was on my
way.
