Bureaucratic Bungling Besets Both Barrys

Stepping back indoors I consulted the A-Z to see if the relevant pages could offer an explanation--Elstree! That was what Barry was trying to say. When he turned up he was full of tales of woe re the traffic he'd encountered on the way over. Our later start than normal was to allow the fishing tackle shop in Harefield to be open by the time we passed it so's I could purchase some maggots.

But for the fact that the top lock was chained shut we might have made it! A stoppage that I had not picked up meant that Norwood Bottom Lock [No. 91] was having new bottom gates fitted - Oh Dear!

Although, apparently, the stoppage is due to finish at lunchtime tomorrow this means that we can't get on the Thames until Saturday at 11:30 at the earliest. 24 hours lost on the first day--it must be some sort of a record. A stroll down to "The Fox" for a couple of pints of 'Naked Ladies' and 'Black Sheep' was all we could achieve today. Let's hope that Brentford is reached tomorrow--curse the Ides of March!

A deep sleep finished at 05:50 when a visit to the loo was needed, back in bed I dozed until 06:15 when I gave it up as a bad job and switched on the Walkman, getting up at 07:00 to listen to Nick Ferrari. After ablutions we had a fry-up, taking our time as there was no sign of the stoppage being lifted. After breakfast Barry went down to lock 91 to see what, if any, progress had been made. I tried fishing to no avail--Barry reported back that a six-man crew was starting the dismantling and clear up of tools, equipment and fencing that were part and parcel of a lock gate replacement programme. I went down later on to find the foreman on the phone to his governor. The gantry had suddenly collapsed as it was being taken down and, while thankfully no-one had been injured, Health and Safety reporting procedures had to be carried out. The big man had to come from Enfield to inspect the gantry and he might decide to call in the Health and Safety Executive if he wasn't happy! Oh no! more delay!

Eventually, at 14:00 the chains were removed and we finally moved on towards Brentford. "Lord Aragorn" a 9 foot beam, replica inspection launch, followed us all the way to Brentford Basin, his width unfortunately preventing him from sharing the locks with us.

By 17:00 we were tying up just above the gauging locks and, after "Eggheads" we set out to look for an ATM for Barry. "Corry" was watched back on the boat then we repaired to "The Magpie and Crown" for some excellent real ale, "Firestorm" and Spinning Dog's "Mad Murphy" to accompany the usual superb Thai food. Back on the boat by 23:30 and fun and games with the Refleks Stove-let's hope it behaves itself in the night.

Well, the stove did behave itself. It wasn't until this morning during our first cuppa that it blew out. Barry and his trusty screwdriver will look after it later. We both showered this morning and then walked to Half Acre and the library for E-mails. The library is in an old primary school building and the fixtures and fittings took me back 50 odd years. Is there any other place that has screw gear to open the windows? I doubt it!

Simon saw us through the Thames Tidal Lock at 11:35 and we turned westward into a cool breeze and strong flow [shades of last October!] that made progress slow. Much milder than promised and very bright sunshine that became more difficult to see through as the day progressed. Teddington Lock was negotiated bang on 13:00. As we motored past Eel Pie Island I noticed an open top car in a garden that could only have been placed there by water as there was no access any other way. Standing in the garden was a mustachioed individual, lighting a pipe. It was Trevor Bayliss, the inventor of the wind-up radio, who lives there! We exchanged pleasantries as we pushed on. I nearly missed Sunbury Lock because of the sun's glare on the water. Eventually, at 17:10, landfall was made at the excellent public moorings on the old river course at Shepperton which I've since discovered are known as Mrs Lindsay's Lawn--no explanation of this so far, a couple of locals I asked had no idea this place was so named but it's called thus on a nearby tree?! After some early telly, You've been framed and TV Burp, we repaired to "The Three Horseshoes" for a pint. [I've not been banned from this one!] Then a tasty kebab meal further up in town. Back to the boat where the fire, having been spoken to sternly by Barry, had warmed the vessel up a treat. a long day's journey into night has ensured a good night's kip.

Following a cold night--owing to the Refleks refusing to stay alight in the wind, we were faced with an excess of fuel in the burner-pot. Barry suggested that I drop a paper towel into the fuel and attempt to light it, hoping that we could burn the fuel away rather than have to messily mop it out.

Five minutes later Mr Dante of inferno fame would have been happy to have joined us. The incessant wind across the chimney gave the stove a banshee-like voice to the extent that we had to raise our voices in order to make ourselves heard and the stove turned translucently red-hot!

The boat's cabin T° rose by 10 or 15° in minutes. Barry caught the phenomenon on camera merely seconds before the fuel was exhausted and Mr Refleks became merely a shiny pussycat once more.

10:20 saw us battling the white horses as we negotiated the tricky entrance to the navigation channel leading to the Wey. £45.70 later, the guardian lockkeeper admitted us into his waterway and with "Bon Voyage" ringing in our ears we poodled past the first few posh houses lining the banks of the Wey. at 12:30 we called a temporary halt to proceedings as soft snow and hard and soft hail jockeyed for position on the decks as I maggot-drowned for a while and Barry concocted one of his famous fry-ups. When the sun shone it was very pleasant indeed, when it didn't, it wasn't!

New Haw Lock negotiated, the next target was "The Anchor" at Pyrford for a Sunday pint. Alas, it was closed for refurbishment so, after passing through the currently open Walsham Flood Gates and not foraying into Ripley where many pubs abound but were a long walk from the water, we settled for an in-the-middle-of-nowhere mooring for the night. The Refleks having been given a severe talking to and clean up, behaved perfectly.

Indulging in our morning cuppas and accompanying natter, Barry spotted a Green Woodpecker on the far bank. Later we saw a large rabbit and a squirrel but our street-cred rose a couple of notches when a handsome Mink, resplendent in his rich, dark red-brown coat, wandered past our window, barely four feet from us. It's such a shame that they are such vicious, murdering bastards. If it was down to looks alone they'd be a welcome addition to our fauna. I could see at a glance just why women coveted their mink coats, although real fur on a woman is as abhorrent as the animals themselves!

Untying at 09:10 we were well wrapped up but that didn't prevent us feeling distinctly chilly in the biting wind as we made our way through two locks to Cartbridge and "The New Inn" at Send village. I recognised the pub as one that I'd last been in in 1986. When I mentioned this to the landlord he said they always welcomed their regulars! We had a good lunch and a couple of pints of "Mother-in-law."

Back on the boat, some 50 feet from the pub, the weather took a downturn once more, so we elected to stay put for the day. Barry was happy with plenty of reading material and I got several fishing sessions in, producing roach, perch, wruffe, chub and gudgeon. A good TV reception and an interesting book made the day not exactly fly by but certainly go at a reasonable pace. A longer trip tomorrow methinks!

Waking at 06:45 meant that morning duties were completed and we were on our way by 08:36. Before I carry on though, I must sing the praises of my boat's hot water system. Despite only travelling for 90 minutes yesterday and finishing with main engines at 10:40, the water was still hot enough for a shower this morning at 08:00!

Triggs Lock came and went, at Broad Oak Bridge the navigation describes a right angle and we momentarily got stuck in the silt whilst negotiating the turn. at Bower's Lock I spotted a water tap, unmarked [unsurprisingly] in Nicholson's. Gratefully we filled the water tank--we hadn't done so since East Molesey on the Thames last Saturday!

We have been tying up whilst ascending in the locks due to fierce water flow when opening the paddles, as indeed one is asked to do on the licence form. The question of just why two gates are to be opened on leaving a lock was explained by this same boater. All the locks tend to be set at an angle to the line of the navigation and it would be easy to damage the gates if only one were used. He told us that high incidence of use by hirers, in theory less able than boater-owners, makes this by-law imperative!

Reaching Guildford we tied up just past Town Bridge and forayed into North Street and the library. Afterwards we had a "Pizza Hut" lunch and returned to the boat and pushed on out of town, stopping for the day below St. Catherine's Lock at 16:40, experiencing heavy snow and biting wind just before our halt.

Last night was the coldest so far - on waking this morning I thought that the stove had gone out, but no, it was ploughing manfully on. I dread to think how cold it would have been without it! The sun was very warm when the wind dropped, which wasn't often. I fished magnetically in the lock just ahead. St Catherine's is the shallowest on the Wey--I came up trumps in the shape of a windlass within 5 minutes of trying. Although my double-header has the correct size for the Wey spindles, the relatively short 'throw' has made life a little difficult when winding up the paddles. The rust-covered recovered one with its long throw gives far better leverage and makes life easier all round.

By noon we had travelled right up to Town Bridge in Godalming, the very end of the navigation and the southernmost point of the whole Inland Waterway System.

We backed away from the bridge and winded the boat back at the wharf. Trying to get into the bank proved more difficult than it should have been, and it became clear later on just why that was. A huge Sainsbury's trolley was in the water just alongside my bows. With a combination of boat hook, boat pole and brute strength and ignorance we wrestled the trolley from its watery grave. I was pleased to see a native English Crayfish, not one of these Johnny-come-lately American Signal Variety, nestling in one of the trolley shelves. [See Leisurely Sojourn on the Lee and Stort, Monday 26 September elsewhere] I showed Barry just how much smaller he was and blacker too than his American cousin, and was delighted to commit him to the depths once more. I took the trolley over the road to Sainsbury's not 50 yards hence and left it in a trolley park. Surprisingly not one of the shoppers I saw elected to use this gunge-encrusted one but opted for a cleaner model instead!

Over to the library in minutes, we got an hour on the computers and proceeded afterwards into town for an explore of the quaint High Street with its higgledy-piggledy little buildings dotted here and there. I've never seen so many charity shops before! Leaving Barry to peruse the tiny Godalming Museum I returned to the boat and picked up this log to transpose some of it to computer from my rough scrawl, then back to the boat for a fishing session. Several roach and a decent perch resulted. Later we patronised the chippy and had haddock, chips, mushy peas, gherkin and a pickled onion. I could have eaten a scabby horse between two bread vans but the meal satisfied my hunger pangs. A TV session followed-I had intended to walk into town later but another frosty night convinced me this was not an idea to run with.

Best kip so far-07:50 before rising. A relaxed shower and breakfast then to the library and E-mails. We decided to stay here another day. Good TV reception, library and shops to hand and a decent mooring. Add to that a couple of nice fish and it's a recipe for contentment. More to the point, it gives the Basingstoke Canal a chance to get its act together. Louise Manfield E-mailed me to say that the landslip was starting to be dealt with today and she'll phone me tomorrow to let me know the latest. After the library we strolled down by the river and saw the unnavigable rapid shallows that the Wey becomes this far upstream. Just near the church, we entered a cloisters monument to Jack Philips-the radio operator on the Titanic who remained at his post and died with the 1500 odd souls almost 95 years ago. He was a local boy and it's a fitting tribute. His last radio message was received at 02:15 and the ship foundered at 02:18.

On reaching the museum, Barry returned to the boat, whilst I got 'cultured up' inside. Later I fished for an hour or so. After a couple of small roach I was amazed to catch a rainbow trout about 12 inches long.

The very next fish though was a common carp of about 5 lbs. Barry's gast was well and truly flabbered. Around 18:30 I walked to the Indian Takeaway for a curry, consumed on board. A full and fulfilling day.

07:45 saw a dull rainy day but definitely milder. After ablutions and brekky, Barry went to Sainsbury's for some supplies and I resumed my fishing efforts. After yesterday's trout and carp I would only be satisfied with a lamprey and a sturgeon! However, Barry was back with bread, milk and cheese before my float had dipped under even once. Fishing eh? It's a mug's game. Godalming Wharf began to recede in the background at 09:50 as we began our journey back towards the Thames. Fairly overcast and none too warm, it was still milder than it's been for some time. Catteshall,Unstead, St.Catherine's and Millmead Locks came and went before we tied up outside the Odeon cinema and forayed through the north of town, over the main railway line [for which a ticket was required at no charge] and up to the magnificent Guildford Cathedral atop Stag Hill. Eric Jenner guided us to some of the lesser known items of the building including a pet snail, a teddy bear and colour tellys!

Back down into town via the railway bridge, my ticket for the return journey was time stamped totally accurately and yet the ticket clerk had been holding it in his hand! How was this possible? I asked a supervisor on the town side of the line, "It's all in the training" was his quick-thinking reply!

We stopped for the night outside "The Rowbarge" at Stoke Mill, a handsome building that now houses seemingly every local paper in Surrey if we are to believe the notice board outside.

The pub didn't do meals but a customer directed us to "The Parkway" adjoining the Premier Inn about 15 minutes walk away. Great food, reasonable prices. Back on the boat replete and a fully functioning Refleks stove, sleep will not be hard to come by.

As predicted we slept like tops and it was 08:45 before I stirred and stumbled to make tea. We both showered and Barry got some shots of the boat in situ and also the picturesque Stoke Mill across the way. at 10:40, The Rowbarge was left behind and we set out Northwards once more. Stoke Lock saw us re-watered and later, after another 30 minutes or so cruising, I tried fishing but blanked. It was a good excuse for coffee though. Pushing on the T° took a bit of a dive but only because of the strong wind and the chill factor.

For a weekend there were surprisingly few people around and only about ½ dozen boats on the move. Below Pyrford Lock and the previously mentioned closed "Anchor" [opening in May!] I should have stopped as time was getting on and we were getting thoroughly chilled. Soon after that I tried mooring against the towpath out of the wind. 30 minutes later the score was towpath 2 Barry 0 as we grounded twice and much revving and poling was required to get us free.

Soon the M25 made itself unacceptably heard and I was grateful that the initial stretch of the Basingstoke Canal before Lock No. 1 was sufficiently far away from the motorway for us not to notice the traffic noise. The lock is naturally padlocked and I've left a message on the duty ranger's phone to please let us in ASAP! Whether I'll get any response is open to conjecture as his phone is supposed to be for emergencies only-it's on answerphone!! Stopped by 17:10 in time for You've been framed and TV Burp, a "Barry fry-up" is on the cards.

Summertime begins today and after a dodgy start, the sun came out to play. Around 09:30 we went for a walk up to Lock No. 2 at Scotland Bridge and I phoned the canal ranger, who in turn got onto his boss re our entry into the Woodham Flight. Tomorrow morning I've got to ring Louise Manfield and hopefully she will sort something out-fingers crossed.

A dog walker recommended "The Black Prince" in New Haw as a good, cheap food venue. Spot on! After returning to the boat for a coffee and a brief fishing session, we walked to the pub and both had beef and mushroom in oyster sauce with egg-fried rice and a decent pint of "Courage Best"-superb! The meal was only £5.25--we saw full blown roast dinners for the same price, it only just fitted on the plate. A place worthy of a re-visit soon.

at 15:15 back on the boat we moved off backwards down the 250 yard stretch of water for 30 minutes back to the Wey and headed upstream to Pyrford Marina where we winded the boat and moored to the bollards outside the Anchor pub, currently a building site. A lovely spot, the warm sun chasing away the memories of last week's snow, hail and bitterly cold winds.

The all important phone call to Basingstoke Canal Centre was made at09:10 as we were chugging slowly along back towards Woodham Junction. We were still expected to wait until tomorrow morning before entry could be obtained and even then only a 3 day licence would be available that would just about cover the Woodham Flight. It was a case of thanks, but no thanks and I made the decision to go up the Thames for a couple of days instead--probably as far as Windsor.

Exiting from Town Lock, we suddenly were stranded on a sand bar in the middle of the large pool formed by a 120º angle of the navigation. This sand bar didn't exist last week when entering the Wey! Luckily, a maintenance team were on hand at Town Lock [In fact, a few minutes earlier, one worker had satisfied Barry's curiosity over the rack mechanism of the lock paddles by undoing an inspection plate to reveal an ingenious clutch system that had no need of a safety catch] and, alerted by passers-by, phoned ahead to Thames Lock where the weirs were closed, thus bringing the water levels up and floating us clear.

Leaving the Wey at 12:15 the locky advised us that there was a lot of debris outside the lock, so, at tickover, we crept through the detritus, cleverly managing to avoid all the rubbish except for a 4x4 spur of timber that brought the engine to a sudden halt! One trip down the weedhatch later left only the Shepperton Weir Stream to negotiate. Despite being ready for it, as the boat entered the flow, the rudder was nearly torn from my grasp as we were punched sideways towards London. The coffee jar in the cabin was knocked to the floor, as was my folding fishing chair but neither was broken. In the sanctuary of Shepperton Lock we caught our breath and slowly but surely made our way through Chertsey Lock, where we topped up the water tank, and Penton Hook to arrive at "The Swan" by Staines Bridge at 16:15. A quick trip to the library and after Corry with Tracy on trial, we had a great meal in the pub. A full incident-packed day.

A good sleep ended at 06:55 when a rowing eight shot by and slapped the boat gently but insistently against The Swan's jetty. The sun came up and burned off the mist-it presaged a glorious day, which it proved to be. Off to the library for a two hour session interspersed with Surrey Libraries' insistence on a 10 minute gap in between, then back to the boat, complete with a soft broom bought from P and Q stores adjacent to the library for the princely sum of £1.99-bargain!

Off just after noon for the environs of Windsor. The river, while abating, still held us in its thrall and slow but steady progress was made all the way to Windsor and beyond to Boveney Lock where we made use of the waterpoint before winding and coming back to Jenning's Wharf, our usual spot just above the Windsor and Eton footbridge.

The normal gamut of interesting people and lovely girls was endured by Barry and myself without a word of complaint, merely stoicism personified!

After a fruitless fishing attempt and TV [Waterworld and Cops with cameras] we set off to find some food. our usual haunts appeared to be shut but we indulged in some rich, chocolatey "Bateman's Salem Porter" at "The Carpenter's Arms" in Queen Charlotte Street-the shortest street in England incidentally.

A better kip than last time at Windsor! [see Single-handed sojourn elsewhere] The water was still belting through like a train this morning and fishing remained a pointless thing to try. Off to the library--we found it and the notice that stated 'Weds. 2-5 p.m.' as well! Back on board we loosed from Jenning's Wharf at 10:15 in glorious sunshine but still cold until the sun did its work on the day. An uneventful trip until Bell Weir Lock when an unexplained power failure left us in an empty lock but with the bottom gates remaining firmly closed. Eventually, after a lot of head scratching the power mysteriously came on again and we escaped out towards the jetty of The Swan.

Later, I fished while Barry got milk, bread,onions, tomatoes and a TV guide from Sainsbury's. After Corry and The Bill we walked into The Swan only to be told that the kitchen had just closed one hour early-no explanation, just apologies. Over the bridge yet again to "The George" a Wetherspoon's pub for an acceptable mixed grill and a pint of "The Umpire strikes back."

at 12 noon we tied up on Horsefair Quay immediately below Kingston Bridge and behind John Lewis' department store. Almost straight away I was showing a prospective buyer over the boat, then we wandered through town, eventually finding the library, only to be spurned because Kingston do not allow guests to use the internet! Luckily for us there were two free internet terminals in the Market Hall and we managed to get a couple of sessions in, broken up by an excellent 'greasy spoon' lunch at a café of the type that I thought I'd seen the last of 20 years ago. Good wholesome grub, without too much ceremony--liver, bacon, chips and gravy went down a treat. I managed to bring the log up to date, then returned to the boat to try some piscenery - Barry went window shopping. at 18:00 we stopped both activities and watched "Eggheads" and the news just as the heavens opened. Around 19:15 we slipped ever eastwards and tied up at Teddington by 19:45. After "The Bill" I went for a drink at "The Anglers" only I ended up in "The Tide End Cottage" because The Anglers was closed for refurbishment and re-opening tomorrow night with 64 different beers on sale along with 48 handpumps. Needless to say we'll miss that because we'll be in Limehouse!

Up around 07:00-not that there was any need-there was still 6½ hours to go! An unhurried ablute, followed by a fishing session which necessitated the use of my Christmas present from Sheila for the first time. The 6-7 lb. bream would have been almost impossible to land without a landing net and Barry made an ideal substitute for a handle. He just leaned over the side of the boat and scooped up the 'played-out' beauty, then recorded its image digitally before returning him to the vasty deeps.

A couple of roach of no size had preceded this bream so the capture of this relative 'monster' was totally unexpected.

I would have joined him but thought that another bream might happen along! Heavy rain began to fall some five minutes after he left and I continued to fish from inside the boat, if not warm then certainly dry! After a couple more roach and a few missed bites, suddenly it was bream city all over again--this time only some 5lb. in weight

12:50 saw Barry return, having confirmed that the tide time was 13:32 and indeed we left the confines of Teddington Lock bang on time. 3 hours and 23 minutes later, we were safely tied to the Limehouse pontoon, having endured wind and rain in equal measure during our 20-mile trip. It's always exciting to travel the 'lumpy' Thames but there was nothing worth reporting that differed from previous trips bar the recording of a frigate "Northumberland" tied abreast of H.M.S. Belfast and a reproduction slave ship, 'Zorg' moored nearby. Barry's camera battery however had other ideas and refused to power the camera shutter in a fit of pique. Consequently, the photo opportunity was lost!

I'd phoned ahead to Limehouse Lock to alert them of our imminent arrival and got an answering machine! So, unannounced, I climbed the long ladder to the lockside and met John, one of the lockies, coming down from his octagonal eyrie, high above the lock. He told me how lucky I was to find anyone there. Winter hours mean everyone goes home at 16:00 but he was finishing off some paperwork when he saw us arrive at 16:55. If he hadn't been there we'd have spent a night lashed to the pontoon until 09:00 tomorrow morning!

07:00 seems to be the favourite time to awake and today was no exception. 'Sounds of the 60s' was well under way when I started fishing, but for the first time ever, I drew a complete blank. I'll blame the wind which kept the boat banging on the piling all night and into this morning too. Barry got a text message to say that Lisa and Rosemary would be coming 'afterwards' so I decided to walk to a library along the Commercial Road and update this log. The library turned out to be opposite Poplar Fire Station in a building called 'Ideas!'

Having brought my muse up to date I returned to the boat via the Limehouse Cut to find that Barry had heard nothing from his family but within ten minutes of my return, another text advised him that they were on their way on the DLR and would be with us shortly. By 14:00 they were on board and we set out on a mini cruise up the Limehouse Cut onto the River Lee, along the Hertford Union and back down the Regent's Canal to the basin once more. Rosemary and Lisa stated it was just the tonic they both needed when they left for Limehouse Station, full of thanks for an enjoyable afternoon.

We poodled into the basin by 17:30 and tied this time on the north wall, below the yellow-topped flats but above the Limehouse Link Tunnel and all the scurrying cars, because all the eastern wall space was taken up with new arrivals. Over to the Cruising Association for a beef stew evening meal and back to the boat with both of us feeling unaccountably knackered.

All fools' day began for us at 07:45, a relative lie-in! After ablutions I tried fishing yet again but the fish fooled me by not appearing. As Barry went off to get some atmospheric shots around the basin, a small perch, who hadn't read the script, saved my golden duck by eagerly wolfing down a couple of maggots.

Thank God Barry who was still within hailing distance on the footbridge over the Limehouse Cut saw it--otherwise he'd have been as sceptical as me when he told me of a cat visitor on the boat's gunnel while I was in the shower earlier!

When Barry returned I suggested a pub lunch today, knowing that our intended stop tonight, Victoria Park in Hackney, whilst beautiful, did not have any eateries! So, we forayed to "The Grapes" in Narrow Street and for the first time sat in the upstairs restaurant and enjoyed a magnificent roast pork meal, with an incomparable view of the Thames through the adjacent window.

The sun was so warm that we stood on the pub balcony and gongoozled our heads off! Later we walked the 25 yards to "The Booty Inn" for a pint of 'London Pride' but I was severely put off by the constant enquiries as to whether we were eating or not and the inference that their view [not as good as 'The Grapes'] could only be enjoyed by the gastronomes, not the mere topers!

14:30 saw us make our goodbyes to Limehouse and in very warm sunshine, necessitating dark glasses, had a two-hour chug to Old Ford Lock where we watered up and then, due to all the moorings above the lock being taken, we tied on the off-side and watched the world going by without us.

I spoke to another boater and she said it wasn't surprising that there are always boats here-it's a very pleasant spot, overlooking Victoria Park Lake. What is surprising though are the number of boats here whose licences appear to have fallen off of their windows!

Just before Islington Tunnel we stopped for breakfast in the shape of, you've guessed it, a fry-up, completing another fishing blank before eating. When we arrived at Hampstead Road Lock, our usual mooring by Dead Dog's Basin Bridge, was unavailable because the towpath and indeed the bridge itself was under repair and closed off.

The intriguing name came about because Hampstead Road Lock is the first downhill lock since Cowley and the basin, once the Fellows, Morton and Clayton southern H.Q. would historically [and indeed still does if not regularly kept clear by patrolling rubbish boats] attract all manner of detritus-not just expired canines, as the water makes its Thames-ward journey. Luckily for us, BW had closed the northernmost of the paired locks and had chained the paddles in the half-open position to allow water to run off from the Cowley Level. We were able to moor against the top gates and have a beer amongst all the gongoozlers. I trawled both locks with the 'Seasearch' magnet and came up with one padlock, [no key] 4 pence, [one twopenny piece and two one penny pieces] and no windlass!

Camden visitor moorings were chock-a-block so we pushed on. at blow-up [Macclesfield] bridge, Barry took the opportunity to photograph the seemingly-impossible grooves in the fluted columns that form the bridge support. After the catastrophic explosion in 1874, when gunpowder cargo and naked-flame lanterns proved an unworkable combination, then the undamaged columns were simply stood up again when restoration took place, only this time they were rotated 180° in order to present a new face to the waterside--and to puzzle canal gongoozlers ever since {!!}

At Paddington Basin we moored in our usual spot in the south-east corner. A footfall on the boat later in the evening caused me to rush out and challenge 3 yobs as to why they'd got on the boat. The perpetrator was full of apologies saying he 'didn't realise anyone was aboard!' Probably he was checking that fact prior to breaking in! When I continued to protest, a second hitherto silent yob referred to me as an 'effing c***' to his mate and when I challenged him, he told me 'You're an old man and I don't want to hit you!' More chillingly then he said 'I'll remember this boat.' So, after double Corry featuring Tracy's trial, we poled over to the hospital side for safety's sake. It would only take a few seconds to stove the boat windows in, even if I was Arnold Schwarzenegger, which I'm not! What a shame for the holiday to be spoiled in this way. I subsequently found out that these yobs, variously described as Arabian or Kurdish, are well known for causing trouble, so much for security. We went for a curry and on our return discovered that the Refleks stove didn't want to work in this incessant wind-tomorrow, as they say, is another day.

Probably fretting over last night's unpleasantness, I awoke at 05:15 but dozed and listened to Steve Allen until 07:00 when Nick Ferrari takes over on LBC. The wind hadn't let up at all and I didn't bother to fish. We forayed to Marylebone Library where ID containing one's name and address were required and a notice stating that even members of the library will be charged £2 an hour after April 16th! Walking back to the boat we called in on Barry's son, Ken at Woolworth's H.Q., then Barry took himself off to The Royal Horticultural Hall for the last flower show of the spring.

I chugged ever so slowly to the visitor moorings at Camden where amazingly, there was a 60'gap. I set off to find a library and eventually found one in the Goldsworth Centre near Mornington Crescent. I managed to deal with my E-mails but was denied the chance to bring this log up to date because a second hour would be chargeable! Hillingdon, with your two hour sessions, where are you?

Walking back to the moorings I found a pub "The Albert" in Princess Road that did an acceptable pint of 'Bombardier' and had a quiz on tonight that was free to enter provided one had dined there first! Perfick! I fished into the afternoon but blanked totally, a real surprise, it looked a dead cert, but at least there was no wind to speak of. I read for a bit and Barry phoned to say he was on his way back.

Later we"Eggheaded" and watched the news before dining at the pub. I had a char grilled lamb chop and Barry had a mushroom and spinach risotto. We scored 65 out of 86 in the quiz and came 5th. The winners with far more personnel scored 74, all good fun. The Refleks is much more relaxed out of the strong wind and the interior of the boat is like Hades!

The shockingly late time of 07:45 was on the clock face as I arose today. A lovely bright start but the fish were still unimpressed and didn't come to the party. We poodled up to Hampstead Road Lock and winded to face home. We had a coffee and an inspection of the remedial work taking place on Dead Dog's Basin Bridge before finally starting the run for home at 11:20.

Passing the long, linear garden above the towpath between Macclesfield [Blow Up] Bridge and St.John's Wood High Street, we spotted a couple of gardeners working within. I hailed one of them who told us that The Sultan of Oman was the owner and he generally only visited the grand house at the garden's western limit about once in every five years! What it is to have money.

We glided unnoticed onto the Grand Union Paddington Arm via Little Venice and stopped for shopping at Sainsbury's at Ladbroke Grove. This was after another fruitless trip to the library on the Harrow Road. I didn't realise that Queen's Park is considered to be Westminster with its ridiculous regulations. While stopped we had a 'greasy spoon' dinner then moved the boat less than a mile to the gasholders at Kensal Green where, in glorious sunshine, I blanked on the fishing once more! An early start will now be required tomorrow.

And an early start was what occurred. By 07:10 we were underway-a fine coating of ice all over the boat that soon melted away in the strong sun. Barry showered while I steered then we swapped places for me to shower then we swapped again to allow Barry to prepare a stonking fry-up that used up the fridge contents. After Barry had eaten he spelled me on the back so I could eat mine. 10:30 saw us turn onto the main line at Bull's Bridge.

The sun was now making everything come alive and at Stockley Park I saw ten ducklings that could only be described as eggs on legs, they were so tiny-but their lung power!! Proud mum cruised amongst her yellow and black charges that were whistling and cheeping for Great Britain. Her nightmare of care for these little ones just getting underway for a month or two. Passing The Troy Cut, just before home, we saw bridge repairs taking place and the towpath closed to pedestrians.

14:40 had us tied up and pumping out and by 16:00, following a sweaty unloading of the boat in the best weather of the holiday so far [typical!] we prepared to drive off home.